Saturday, May 17, 2014

The absentee blogger

A thousand apologies to anyone who has been checking in to see what I'm up to, and I know some of you have from the stats. It's been all go for me, go and gone really. And I've been sick which is the main reason why I haven't written before now. When I'm sick all the words in my head throw themselves to the side of my skull and hide there. My script disappears, the words burrow into my skull and I have nothing to work with. I guess my words are my strength and when I am sick I am weak and so my words disappear.

I had a cold, not such a big drama, but I was pretty sick with it. A temperature for three days, and then I developed a sinus infection so it dragged on and on. The cough lasted for weeks, in fact I am only just now getting over the cough. The problem was of course the timing. Change is hard enough when healthy, well nigh impossible when ill. I fell sick right at the time I had to move out of my home and prepare for my big move. Very inconvenient.

I managed it, as you do, but I am sure I threw away things I should not have. I do seem to have managed to thin my possessions down to less than 40 kilos and two not completely full suitcases. I am sure there are things I will regret not bringing with me. But it's done, I moved, and moved again, and moved again.

The first, and most painful move was out of my home and into my mothers unit. That is me, gamer son, two cats and a rat into my mothers not so large unit. Add to that a dog being house sat and it was rather chaotic and bursting at the seams. The painful part was not being at my mothers of course, but leaving behind my house, and with it my life.

I guess because I was also sick, the wrench was very painful. I felt like I had suddenly been dropped in limbo, and it was very unbalancing. I dreamed each night of my own bed, and woke in the spare bed. I woke not to the sound of the butcher birds, but to other smaller birds. I went to work from the opposite direction and had to remind myself each day to go back to my mothers and not to my home.

But it was a change that could not be unchanged, so of course there is little point in looking back. And I had only a week to prepare us for the next big move, overseas to my sister. And then only a week to prepare for my next big move, to here. Plus I was on antibiotics again as the sinus infection rather enjoyed the long haul flight and re-activated itself.

So here I am, renting an apartment so I have once more a place I can call home. Gamer son is still with my sister, for now at least. I am in totally different surroundings, a different culture, language and lifestyle. So far it's been disconcerting, exciting, frightening a little, overwhelming at times but I feel alive like I haven't felt these past stressful months.

I no longer wake to birdsong, I wake to voices and traffic and the chickens next door. I do however have a view of the sea which is quite beautiful, the little patch I can see at any rate. I am beginning my life again and the universe I think is very satisfied that I have finally come to where I have been pushed all this time. Go with the flow of the universe, of the greater being and serenity and peace are the reward. Go against it and truly you are walking through molasses.

Here, I am writing. To be totally honest I have not actually put fingers to keypad but I have jotted down a lot of notes as ideas come to me for the characters. I feel compelled to write again as I haven't done for some time. I can visualise my characters fully fleshed, not ghostly. This includes the werewolf which is not so great for those glimpses out of the corner of the eye when you think you see something moving. But I am keen to write again, and I have for now the time to do so. Once I am working time will again be short, so I am making the most of this free time while I still have it.

And book number 1, the reason I started this blog? Well there is news there also. I have a publisher now. Not a big pay you a huge advance type of publisher. This one is what is called a vanity publisher. They are smaller, tend to focus on ebooks, and do not pay an advance. In fact the author pays them for their services. Because of this, naturally, there are plenty out there which prey on authors. They take exorbitant amounts of money but have no real interest in getting the book to sell. They make their money from the authors, not from book sales.

This one, I hope is different. For starters, the amount I paid was very reasonable, and they do seem keen to market and sell the book. I have a fantastic new cover being designed, and they will market the book once it is republished. I don't have expectations of fame and glory, but I do have what I think is a realistic expectation that this will raise my profile and that is what I need, for future book sales.

So here I am, on the other side of the world, starting a new, different and hopefully better life. I take it as an omen that things started happening for book number 1 at the same time as my life changed. I have gone through some very difficult times emotionally, I struggled with it but I do feel that I have put my past right where it belongs - behind me. The future is bright and not only because of the desert sun :)

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