Thursday, November 27, 2014

'Tis the season

Why isn't she posting?? I hope you are asking this question anyway. I haven't been posting mainly because I've had a sinus issue and a hormone issue. If you're a man you'll not understand the hormone issue and I don't mean that in a sexist way. Simply that men have to worry about only testosterone, whereas women have two pesky hormones that if not balanced cause havoc in their lives. I've had hormonal imbalances since puberty - they've caused physical issues and also made me live an emotional roller coaster.

Mood swings, depression; I can have more mood flips in a day than the Melbourne weather ( for non-Australians please substitute a city in your area notorious for sudden, frequent and unpredictable weather changes). Also, a quick digression: for the grammatically fixated among you please also note that I was taught to not use the Oxford comma which despite its name is more generally used in America (where it is also known as the Harvard comma). If this causes angst among the pro Oxford comma folks, I apologise and I feel your pain.

Back to me - so I've been moody, depressed and plain exhausted. Plus I've had a two week long headache which is a combination of hormones and the aforementioned sinus issue. I'm having a pity party, want to come???? Seriously, I've been feeling very sorry for myself but I'm on the way back up again. It hasn't helped that I've been having to take medication for the headache which has zonked me out and caused me to spend much of my time with my head several minutes behind my body.

Have I got any work done? I have, slowly but I have been continuing on with the editing process. In truth I have to edit slowly or I get impatient and rush it, and then the editing is not so much editing as skim reading. I'm almost done, and while I've been doing it part of my mind has been working on the sequel and also the prequel. That's my mind, it never focuses on the one thing exclusively, except when I'm drawing.

I don't think it's accurate to call what I do zentangle any more. I use the patterns a lot, but I also make up my own, and make designs to fill with the patterns. The last thing I did was not even zentangle, it was a mosaic. I really liked drawing it and then filling it with colour although it took several days to complete. It's not as popular with friends and family I show the pictures to, but I loved doing it. It made me want to start doing mosaic tiles and mirrors - but those must wait or they will absorb too much of my time. Plus I have nowhere here to put them, and lets face it, no money for the materials!

To pull myself out of this funk I've been trying to count my blessings and feel gratitude. I do have a lot to be grateful for. I'm able to live here in Egypt and give this writing a go. I've got back enough of myself that I'm drawing again, I have two adorable cats that make me smile and a group of street cats that also make me smile. I have good friends who have stood by me, a family that loves me (well they have to don't they, that's the thing about families), and a roof over my head. Sure, money is tight, but that makes me grateful that all the superfluous stuff is gone and I can focus on what really matters. That last sentence could be a load of hokum, but really I do feel grateful for being so poor although of course the long term goal is not to stay this way! Poverty has a way of removing everything from the surface and leaving only what is important. It's a lesson I'm grateful to be learning. I'm grateful too that while I'm poor, I still have enough for a comfortable roof over our heads, food and clothing. We may not wear fashion items but we are clothed, warm (it's a little bit chilly now), and fed. We have all that is necessary and that is truly something to be grateful for.

Of course I am grateful too that I have a sister who opening her home to me and gamer son for Christmas. I'm sure I've said this last year - Christmas and I are not the best of friends. I don't look forward to it, I don't get excited by it. This season has the ability to bring me very low, so even if I wasn't struggling with hormonal and sinus issues, I'd still be feeling low now. So, I'm grateful that I will be spending Christmas with people who get me and don't expect anything of me, and I'm grateful that gamer son with be able to have a great holiday and will get a family Christmas.

So as you can see, I have a lot to be grateful for, and not that much really to feel sorry about. It's all about the perspective, and I really must try to make my perspective a positive one. Pics today include some of my artwork, and my mosiac which I am showing you simply because I like it!

Mosaic drawn but not coloured:

 Mosaic coloured:

Why did I put the pics in this order? I didn't, my computer did, and it's not even chronological. Everyone's a critic I guess...

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