Tuesday, July 2, 2013

time - it's all relative

Time goes by so fast sometimes, and if the day to day routine is the same, it can just disappear like dust in the wind. For me, I have not been able to get to my writing for some days now, for a few different reasons, and I was rather shocked to realise how long it has been. One reason for this is that insomnia and I have developed a pretty close relationship. I think any day now insomnia will present me with a black ring set with a red stone and I will become Mrs Sleepless, set to rule over the awake and resentful of that fact. I will prod them at the edges of their consciousness so that they jerk awake from just on the verge of sleep. I will fill their heads with all kinds of thoughts that take on a life of their own at 2am. I will be the queen of the sleepless, dressed in a glorious black lace dress with blood red underskirts.

Lack of sleep means that when I do have time to write I am so tired that what I write I delete when I read it again the next day. It's not exactly writers block, it's more just exhaustion making my mind too foggy to work properly. The thoughts are there, but they are not arranging themselves onto the screen properly.

Another reason for not writing is simply that I have been working a lot more lately, and sadly housework, washing and grocery shopping do have to be done. Also, it is school holidays. This means that the youngest is at home. It is completely impossible to write with him at home. He talks, and talks, and talks. I lose track so frequently that it is better not to even start. Add to that the seemingly endless texts from people that clearly have radar and start texting as soon as I open up the book file, and you can get the gist that I am feeling rather frustrated.

It is only temporary I know, so I will just focus on the near future when I can get back into it. Positive thoughts only, negative thoughts are not allowed (especially difficult at 2am but I do try). I do believe that positive thoughts lead to positive results. And you only need to look at countries like Egypt and Brazil to see this put into effect.

In Brazil the population went into the streets to protest a ruling class perceived as self-serving and corrupt. They didn't just complain to each other, they got together en masse and did something about it to effect change. And they have had world wide support and promises of changes within their country.

In Egypt the population has also gone into the streets to protest the current president. This is the first freely elected president, but the people of Egypt are not happy with his performance and they are not happy with how the economy is performing. They did not feel sorry for themselves. They went out in their millions to protest publicly, and on the whole peacefully. These people have created positive energy, they have acted to bring about change.

I have enormous admiration for the people of Brazil and Egypt. They are focused, determined and thinking positively. They have energy and they have belief that they can make a difference.

And that's what we should all try to do. With belief and focus and determination, anyone can do amazing, astonishing things. Apathy should be only a word, not a mindset. Negative thoughts should be banished (and yes, there are friends who will read this who will be saying to me do as you say woman!) Negative thoughts are terribly difficult to let go of. There is a kind of masochistic pleasure to be got from sinking into despair and misery. And of course dark thoughts feed on each other.

But positive thoughts also feed on each other. The first step is believing that you deserve good things in life - surprisingly hard to do! Banish every negative thought even as it tries to derail you (I'm talking to my niece about trains as I write this) and only think positive thoughts. See where it takes you. That's what I'm going to do from now on. And if the negative thoughts take over, I will banish them and I will forgive myself for having them instead of being angry at myself. It really is time to live in the light instead of the shadows :)

Today's pictures are of myself and the youngest going to the movies today, it was a good day and a good reminder to be positive. The other is of the crowds of people out on the streets in Alexandria in Egypt, also a good reminder to be positive.

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